Letter to my future daughter

My dearest daughter,

I am so sorry. But you are probably very much like me.

We have some pretty messed up genetics in this family, so sorry about that. Can't really change it.

But I know what your going through right now.

You think you aren't enough.

You think that no one will ever really care about you.

You are scared of what the future holds and if it ever gets better than this.

And you know what, I love you beyond words, but I can't help you.

It doesn't matter how many compliments you receive. It never will.

You could get told that you are the most beautiful thing on the planet every day, and never believe it.

It's never about what other people tell you about you, it's what YOU tell yourself about YOU.

And YOU need to love yourself.

But trust me, I know that it is not as easy as it sounds.

All throughout your youth it will be a climb to not fall into the darkness that beacons you.

But never give up.

Keep climbing.

And I will always be there with an outstretched hand to help you reach the top.

I guess what I'm trying to say is:

I know life sucks. And I'm sorry. 

But maybe we can make it through it together.

With Love,

Mom

When your afraid

I've already made two lists of what I'm afraid of.

And you know what, I'm tired of making that list.

What I think the real fear is, is what happens to us when we're afraid.

What happens when your afraid?

Trapped.

Alone.

Petrified.

Nervous.

Frozen.

Overwhelmed.

Panicked.

Wild.

Nothing can be scarier that loosing control of yourself.

let's walk through the night

Let's walk through the night.

With just the dim, flickering streetlamps to light our way.

It may be cold, but at least you'll be there with me.

We could look at the stars, try to find the brightest one,

Try to imagine pictures up there arranged by angels.

Look up at the moon and try to remember the name of the phase it's in.

We could just look at our surroundings.

All in the same shade of dark blue that night blankets the world in.

See the edges of the mountain highlighted by the moonlight.

Or maybe we could just close our eyes and listen.

The crickets sing their lullaby to the world.

Silence being it's steady accompaniment.

Maybe we could just talk.

Forget how the cool, crisp air is making our throat sore.

The night gives a certain protection to our words, like the sky is saying it will keep our secret.

Protecting us from eavesdropping ears.

The best conversations always happen at night.

The best stories come from the night.

The best times with you always come from the night.

So let's walk through the night.

Let's walk through together.

How to be normal

First of all, if your a true hipster, you must forget your ways.

To be normal, you need to blend in. 

To blend in, you need to dress a bit hipster. But not enough to be noticed.

Just enough so that people see that your part of the crowd.

Then you need to forget being yourself.

Normal people aren't like you. Unique and beautiful just the way you are.

Normal people laugh when they're supposed to. Giggle and look cute.

Crazy and funny enough to cover up the inner turmoil of what's really going on underneath the surface.

But don't stand out too much, normal people don't do that.

And normal people, for some reason, don't have feelings.

Normal people are just normal, they can't be sad or depressed or confused.

Normal people can be pretty good or tired. Those are your only options if you want people to know that your nice and normal.

Forget about what your really feeling. If you want to be normal you need to put that aside.

So to put it in basic steps, 

How to be normal:

1. Blend in with the crowd

2. Don't be unique or you

3. Don't feel

Maybe normal isn't such a good thing after all.

Let's not be normal.

"So how are you?"

worried

stressed

accusing

upset

nervous

anxious

overwhelmed

drowned

done

pretty good

fine

what about you?

My life in gifs

This is what happens when I'm sad

My most used phrase after coming home from school

Often what I say when I wake up from a nap

and what I look like

I'm not sure why this one applies, but it does

same with this one

my reaction to other people always

Sometimes I wish I was a princess

But then I realize 

And finally

Me writing a blog post

Well this was fun

and random

sorry bout that