If you knew

If you knew that I cared,

I wonder if anything would be different.

Maybe you wouldn't flirt with me,

laugh with me, hold me,

if you knew how much it hurt me

to be so close to you

and yet know I'm so far away.

 

Maybe you would laugh.

Laugh at the thought that someone like you,

could even consider someone like me.

Laugh at the fact that I am nobody,

chasing an empty dream that you will crush.

Maybe you would actually try to be a friend,

talk to me, joke with me,

try to be slightly more that a jerk

that just talks to me when convenient.

Maybe you would try to be better,

knowing that maybe there is someone out there

that could love you

even when your a ignorant peacock that struts around

leaving heartbreak in your stride.

Maybe you would try.

Try to make it work.

See me in a new light that you hadn't considered before.

That maybe I could be someone to hold,

to laugh with, to be there for you.

Maybe you wouldn't even care.

Life would go on, without pause,

through the flirting and the heartbreak

over and over again

in the most crushing, destructive way possible.

Maybe if you knew,

something would be different

in this Hell I'm going through.

Legit my favorite book

I reread one of my favorites.

I'm a total hopeless romantic, so this book was basically made for me.

If you love historical romance novels, then you will freaking love this book.

Plus, I want to name my first son after the main character, so there's another reason to read it.

It's basically about this rich guy with an annoying girl on his tail, so he tries to prove a point and just grabs a random maid in the garden and kisses her in front of the annoying girl. Well, turns out the maid is the daughter of a very rich and mean uncle, who forces them to get married. 

It's adorable. Really.

CRISPIN + CATHERINE 4EVER

Ok bye.

No more hiding

I've delayed posting this because I know hardly anyone cared about my blog.

Thanks to the few who did. I often feel very tossed aside and forgotten, that no one ever really cares about me. So when I saw a comment, you'll never know how much it helped me through my day.

Now, a few things about me,
(In case you don't already know who I am, cause like if you really know me then you knew it was me right away)

-I suck at writing poetry.

-I've had depression for the past two years.

-I'm the youngest in my family, which is code for "I'm the permanent babysitter at Grandma's house".

-I love theater. And dance. And music. They're the only things that can make me genuinely happy.

-I want to be a drama teacher. I want to give people a good experience with theater, and I want to inspire the students who really care.

-Oreos are my weakness. They're just so freaking good.

-The Tim Allen Santa is my favorite version cause he's the only Santa that isn't actually terrifying. He's the Santa I'm gonna raise my kids on.

-I want to me a mom. I want a little mini version of me and the one I love most combined into a little body. That just sounds like the greatest thing.

-I love photography. I love taking the picture of someone that they can look at and think that they're beautiful.

-I want to be a princess. Ballgowns, dancing all day, meeting a handsome prince? Sign me up. It helps that I've played Ariel and Jasmine, and work as Belle and Elsa for kids parties. I guess I'm on the right track. My resume will look great.

-I hate compliments. Like, if someone says "oh your so cute" or "your just so pretty up there on stage", that to me is so fake. Please tell me something you actually mean. Thanks.

-I fall for people that remind me of my brother. No, I'm not saying I'm creepily attracted to my brother. I want someone who will always make me smile and be my best friend, just like my brother.

-I love Disney, Doctor Who, all things nerdy, chick flicks, and basically most things you can find on Netflix.

-I hate high school relationships, and yet I want one. But boys are the worst. But they're not. It's complicated.

-Christine Daae is my absolute dream role. I love her character so much. And Nelson, I feel like she should have chosen the Phantom, too.

-"Ireth" is elvish for my first name. Don't judge. Here's the link to the website where you can find yours. Your all welcome.
http://www.chriswetherell.com/elf/

Well, I guess the girl who has been hiding is finally premiering at the Opera. Sing on, Angel of Music.

-Kelsea Kocherhans

I remember Christmas

I remember when Christmas was trying to stay awake to hear reindeer on the roof,

Ignoring the heavy pull of sleep on the excitement in our eyes.

I remember when Christmas was writing letters to Santa,

Adding a few extra presents at the last minute to see if he was the real deal.

I remember when Christmas was getting to see your cousins,

Wondering who would play Mary in the nativity this year.

I remember when Christmas was fitting all the siblings into one, small bedroom

With giggling and snuggling to wait out the long, cold winter night before Christmas.

I remember when Christmas was picking out the classic stories before bed,

Christmas Oranges for my sister, How the Grinch Stole Christmas for my brother.

I remember when Christmas meant happiness,

excitement,

laughter,

memories,

love,

and family.

I remember when Christmas was being surrounded by the ones that I love,

And wondering how I could ever ask for anything more.

The words that jumped out

The boy with the guitar

Give me the boy with the guitar
The one that can make me forget the crap in my life
By just plucking a few strings
And taking my breath away

Give me the boy with the smile
The one that makes my head spin around and my heart stop beating
By just breaking through like the sun
And brightening my day

Give me the boy with the smirk
The one that makes me want to strangle him and kiss him at the same time
By driving me insane
And making me love him even more

Give me the boy with the mind

The one that intrigues me and makes me want to know what makes it tick

By puzzling me more every day

And making me want to sort through the pieces

Give me the boy with the voice

The one that makes me laugh harder and love stronger

By just singing a few lines

Or saying a few words

Give me the boy

The one that I know is there

Please just come out

And meet the girl with the broken heart

Who has always been here

Listen up, heart

OK heart, we need to have a little talk.

This has gotten out of control.

You know I can't love him.

Yeah I know, I know, he's all we ever wanted.

Talented

funny

sweet

flirty

amazing

beautiful

intelligent

everything...

But you have to ignore that.

You NEED to ignore that.

Cause you know who he is, what he's like,

and I can't stand to have you broken again.